Dear Sexpert,

I’m currently dating someone I really like… but there’s one little problem. I feel like I have a really low libido. I don’t feel like I want or enjoy sex at all, and I’m afraid it’s not normal. People have told me that I just need to relax, but I feel like something is wrong with my body. I heard that there’s a women’s Viagra on the market now. Would something like that help me? I’m desperate!

–Low Libido 

Dear Low Libido,

Thanks for asking about a topic that has many misconceptions! It sounds like you are concerned about Female Sexual Dysfunction, which can be defined as persistent problems with sexual response, desire, orgasm, or physical pain that are causing distress. It is a problem that affects many women and that can occur at any age. It also impacts not just the physical aspect of sexual relations but also the emotional and mental aspects as well.

That being said, sexual dysfunction is a problem only if it is something that distresses you. If it does make you feel concerned or bothered, there are some steps you can take. It’s important to reflect upon and communicate with your partner why you might be feeling the way you do, if you think it is related to your relationship. Talking openly with and feeling connected to your partner can improve intimacy issues. Some factors might be physical or hormonal; others might be psychological or emotional. You mentioned that people have advised you to relax, and it is true that stress, and especially untreated anxiety or depression, can contribute to sexual dysfunction. With midterms around the corner or a heavy academic workload this semester, you might find it harder to enjoy or become excited about sex. Consider evaluating your mental health, or talking with a professional at Counseling & Psychological Services about your emotional and mental health, to see if that might be affecting your sex life.

If you feel as though your problem may be of a physical nature instead, there are other treatments that might help. It might be as simple as using a lubricant, which alleviates vaginal dryness or pain during sex. If an underlying condition is related to sexual dysfunction, such as a medication that affects one’s sex drive, the adjusting or changing that medication might be the answer. It is recommended that you consult with your prescribing clinician before making any changes. Finally, if the problem is hormone-related, hormonal therapies are used by some women to improve sexual function by increasing vaginal blood flow and enhancing lubrication.

You also asked about “women’s Viagra,” which is actually a drug called flibanserin, or its brand name, Addyi. It is the first FDA-approved treatment for improving sexual desire in women. Relatively new to the market as of the fall, it treats premenopausal women with hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), a type of sexual dysfunction characterized by a lack or absence of sexual desire. Again, low libido is regarded as a disorder only if it causes distress for the individual and is diagnosed by a clinician.

Although it treats sexual dysfunction as Viagra does for men, the name “women’s Viagra” is actually a misnomer, as Addyi works differently. Viagra treats erectile dysfunction –the inability to develop or maintain an erection– and must be taken as needed before sexual encounters, but it does not stimulate sexual desire. Addyi, on the other hand, affects the central nervous system and the neurotransmitters in the brain, and is taken as a daily pill. It does have various side effects, most commonly dizziness, nausea and sleepiness. Drinking alcohol while using Addyi may cause severely low blood pressure and fainting, which is why those who use the drug are recommended not to drink, and to take the pill at night, in order to minimize these side effects.  

All that said, variations in libido are fairly normal and there is no cause for concern unless you feel it is a source of distress in your life. If so, you may wish to make an appointment at Sexual Health and Wellness at UHS, where you can speak with a clinician about your specific needs and find out more information about possible treatments. Make an appointment online or by calling 609-258-3141.

Looking out for you

~The Sexpert

Information on female sexual dysfunction retrieved from the Mayo Clinic

Information on HSDD retrieved from Sex Health Matters