Dear Sexpert,
My partner is having trouble performing in the bedroom and it’s affecting our relationship. We’ve been talking through this and are considering trying a “cock ring”. But we don’t quite know how it works. Do you know what it does and if it is effective? We’re just hoping that it may be the savior in our relationship.
–Desperate for Love
Dear Desperate,
It sounds like you and your partner are communicating well and exploring your options! To get down to it, cock rings, also known as “erection ring” or “tension ring”, are rings that are placed at the base of the penis and/or testicles, preventing blood from leaving the penis by restriction. Most often, these rings are used to sustain a longer erection, make an erect penis harder and larger, and/or delay and heighten pleasure during orgasm. However, every penis is different, so the experience varies from person to person.
With all sex toys, cock rings function effectively and are only safe if used properly. Cock rings encircle the shaft and at times, fit over the shaft and the testicles/scrotum when the penis is not erect. The ring should only increase the size of the erection minimally, and should not cause pronounced swelling. It is crucial that these rings are not worn too tight or for more than 20 minutes, as they do restrict blood flow; leaving them on too long is unsafe and can cause damage in the penile tissue. If there is any discomfort, pain or bruising, the ring immediately. Additionally, as all sex toys, they must be cleaned after each use to get rid of bacteria and lower the risk of STI transmission
Cock rings vary across the spectrum to fit all preferences – some can be found with vibrators for added stimulation, snaps for easy release, or even two-ringed to fit over the penis and the testicles, etc. They can be made of metal, silicone, leather, and rubber. For ones that are not adjustable, the right size needs to be carefully picked to ensure a proper fit. For the less experienced, elastic materials are most common and are safer to use. The ideal cock ring is one that stays in place when the penis is flaccid, but can be slipped off easily and unsnap when the penis is erect. A water- based lubricant can be added to make putting on or taking off cock rings easier.
Like always, its important to continually talk to your partner about what is best for you both, as anything regarding your sexual experience is bidirectional. Remember, this is only one option out of many others that can improve your sexual experience with your partner. It is also possible that your partner’s underperformance (e.g., inability to get or maintain an erection, or ejaculate) is due to something psychological, not physical. Stress related to school or anxiety about performance (in and out of the bedroom) can also negatively impact sexual performance.. If your partner thinks any of these might be having an effect, talking with someone might help.
The Student Health and Wellness center (SHAW) is always open for appointments with a clinician in McCosh Health Center to figure out if this or other options would be best for you and your partner!
~ The Sexpert