Too Much?: Is having sex 3-4 times per day going overboard?

Dear Sexpert,

Is there such a thing as too much sex? My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship so every time we see each other, we have sex about 3 to 4 times per day. Sometimes my vagina feels sore afterwards and penetration becomes painful. With Winter Break coming up, I don’t know whether to be worried or not or how to bring this up with my boyfriend. Please help!

–Too Much or Just Overreacting?

Dear Too Much or Just Overreacting,

First off, if something makes you feel uncomfortable or causes pain, it’s a legitimate concern. I’m glad you’re actively searching for answers! Wanting to connect sexually with your partner when you spend time together is common, especially in a long distance relationship when the opportunity is limited. While having sex three to four times a day is more often than the average couple, it’s not unhealthy as long as it is mutually enjoyable and doesn’t get in the way of other responsibilities. However, it seems as if you are experiencing some undesirable side effects in the form of vaginal soreness and pain.  

The reason for the vaginal soreness and pain you’re experiencing could result from overstimulation and friction during frequent sex. If that is the case, be open with your boyfriend and ask him to slow down, switch positions, or even stop during sex if something becomes uncomfortable. If you are experiencing discomfort, you won’t be able to enjoy it as much and most likely, neither will your boyfriend  Using a lubricant (available at CVS or the C-Store), can also help decrease friction and dryness. Communicate with your boyfriend how you can best pace yourselves and enjoy sex.  

If the pain persists even with lubrication and a break from sex, it could be that you’ve acquired a urinary tract infection (UTI). Don’t worry—UTIs are quite common and are treatable with antibiotics or over-the-counter pain relievers. In fact, there is even a colloquial name for UTIs that occur among women after a high frequency of sex: honeymoon cystitis. A lot of sex in a short period of time can increase the likelihood that bacteria from the vagina will travel up the urethra, the tube that leads from the bladder to the vagina, and cause an infection. The best course of action is to seek professional consultation from Sexual Health and Wellness (SHAW) at McCosh or a gynecologist if you are at home over break.

Overall, you are taking the right steps in addressing this concern. Be open with your boyfriend about this issue and don’t be afraid to try using a lubricant. If the pain persists, seek professional help as soon as possible.

~The Sexpert